How I became a vagabond

I recently resigned from my job and I am stuck. I don't know where to go. I have been teaching/coaching for over 20 years and that is how I identify myself. When people ask what I did for a living I say, I teach and coach. 

What do I do when I no longer want to do one of those things? 

Last spring I had woke up and I didn't know if I wanted to be a teacher anymore. I was starting to burn out but I didn't know it. I had a schedule and I just went through it everyday. There wasn't much time to think about other things because I was doing something from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep. 

I eventually had the courage to say something and I was met with reluctancy and questions if I just needed to take a break and recharge. I was a special education teacher and they were hard to find where I live. It was even harder to find someone who was a one person department that wore many hats. I understood and may they were right, I just needed a break and a chance to recharge. But things were worse than they appeared. I continued to grind through days becoming more disengaged from activities I enjoyed and people around me. What brought me joy, didn't anymore. What I would get excited for didn't anymore. But I had to keep going.

Summer break came and went and I didn't feel any better. I actually felt more tired and worn out. For the second time in less than 6 months I questioned what I was doing and if I wanted to do it anymore. This feeling was starting to bleed into other parts of my life. 

Then this fall I had enough. I was angry and upset all the time. I had a short fuse which was unlike me. I didn't like myself or who I was. I didn't enjoy the little things in life. I was tired and came home to sleep before I went to a practice or a clinic for my kids.

This is not the way it was supposed to be. Then one day I snapped. I walked into my bosses office and said I was putting in my notice. I was in tears because I didn't know what to do. I was lucky I had a supportive boss and admin group who gave me the time to leave.

What I figured out was, I was burned out. I had nothing left to give.

Burnout is real. 

Now I am stuck in a gray zone. I resigned from my job, I resigned from my coaching position, and I stepped away from a lot of what I was doing. 

So here I am, stuck in neutral trying to figure out where to go from here.

I'm a vagabond.